


How To train Your Warlock

by kathkin



Series: Summerpornathon 2011 [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin/How To Train Your Dragon crossover. Arthur sends Merlin to re-establish diplomatic relations with the island kingdom of Berk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To train Your Warlock

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://summerpornathon.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://summerpornathon.livejournal.com/)**summerpornathon** bonus challenge 3: crossovers.

At first, it seemed like a fantastic idea, and Merlin said so.

“Oh, you think?” said Arthur, who seemed unduly apprehensive. They were only talking about re-established relations with another kingdom, after all. It’s wasn’t a new thing. Lots of old allies had come out of the woodwork since Arthur had taken the throne.

“Yes,” said Merlin. “We could do with more… diversity. And that.”

“That’s great!” said Arthur. “Really great. I’m so glad you feel that way.” He clapped Merlin on the back. Merlin began to grow suspiciuous. “You’re leaving on Tuesday. Pack extra socks, I hear it’s cold.”

“What?” Merlin spluttered. “But – you’re sending _me_?”

“They have dragons there,” Arthur explained patiently. “You’re a dragon _lord_. It makes perfect sense.” Then, when Merlin opened his mouth to protest further, “and anyway, the court’s not too happy about your position, this is an ideal way for you to prove yourself.”

“No,” said Merlin. “Just – _no_. I’m not going. You need me here, Arthur! Camelot needs me!”

“I’m sure I can do without you for a few… months,” said Arthur. He didn’t have to say he wasn’t happy about it either, because he wasn’t. It was all over his face. He was struggling to hide his dismay. But Merlin was too angry to properly notice.

“Months?” he said. “Are you serious?”

“It’s a very long way,” said Arthur. “Um. How are your sea legs?”

Merlin groaned.

*

Berk wasn’t even a real _kingdom_ , just some tiny little island at the back of beyond, surrounded by what had to be the wettest, roughest seas in all of Albion. Merlin had hardly even been on a boat before. By the time he finally staggered his way onto the docks – in the middle of a rainstorm, of course, because that was just his luck – he was thoroughly convinced that Camelot didn’t even need the sodding place as an ally anyway.

Of course, Berk was more than a little out of the loop, which meant, as an interesting side effect, the rest of the world was out of the loop about goings on in Berk. This was immediately obvious to Merlin as soon as he was introduced to the prince of Berk and his pet dragon.

Merlin’s polite greeting ground to a halt after only a second or two. It wasn’t the dragon that did it – it was large and menacing and all, but Merlin had spent enough time hanging out with Kilgharrah that he was hardly fazed – no, it was something else.

Had Balinor lived longer, he might have managed to provide Merlin with more information about Dragon Lord’s than the basic dragon lording part. As it was, Merlin was learning an awful lot on the job. For instance, one good long look at Hiccup was enough to inform him that he was, in fact, the _second_ to last Dragon Lord.

His formal greeting trailed off into, “Oh, bollocksing hell.” He winced, and wondered if he should pretend that was traditional in Camelot, but thankfully chief Stoick drew his own conclusions. He laughed, and gave Merlin a clap on the back which almost knocked him over.

“Takes some getting used to, don’t it?” he said, gesturing at the dragon. “Don’t worry, he’s harmless.”

Merlin doubted that last statement very much, given the death glare the dragon was currently giving him. “I apologise,” he said. “I. Um. He’s a very handsome dragon.” That seemed to placate the dragon, if only momentarily.

“His name’s Toothless,” Hiccup supplied, one hand resting on the dragon’s neck.

“That’s a lovely name,” said Merlin. They probably still thought he was scared out of his wits. He wasn’t scared. Or not of the dragon, anyway. It was Hiccup’s dragon, and he had clearly tamed it, and besides, Merlin had the whole dragon lord thing. No, he was mostly just confused.

*

He cornered Hiccup later that night, once the feast celebrating his arrival had quieted down and most of the Vikings were thoroughly drunk, and demanded answers.  
In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have started the conversaion by exclaimed, “You!” and grabbed Hiccup by the shoulders, but in his defense, he wasn’t exactly sober either.

“Me?” said Hiccup, shrugged off Merlin’s grip (and bloody hell, he was stronger than he looked).

“What are you doing here?” said Merlin.

“I… live here?” said Hiccup. “How did you miss that?”

“No, I don’t mean what are you doing _here_ , I mean what are _you_ doing _here_ ,” said Merlin, then frowned. “That made more sense in my head.”

“Oh, I get what you’re saying,” said Hiccup. “You’re saying I don’t fit in, is that it? Well, maybe _you_ need to be less judgemental, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’m not being judgemental!” said Merlin. “I just – how does this even _work_? Your father’s still alive!” At that, Hiccup just looked blank. Merlin considered the matter further. “What about your mother?”

“She’s dead,” Hiccup started to say, “She –”

“Aha!” Merlin exclaimed. “I bet that’s it!” Then, “Oh god, sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!” he paused. “My father died once.” Hiccup’s expression had gone from hurt to baffled, and now Toothless has decided to join the conversation, growling down Merlin’s neck. It dawned on Merlin that Hiccup had absolutely no idea what he was. Bloody hell.

“You really don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” he said. Hiccup shook his head. “I think perhaps we should start this conversation from the other end.”

“And also sober,” Hiccup agreed. “And in a very public place.”

“Okay, I’ll try to be succinct,” said Merlin, ignoring him. “You. Me. Dragons. Am I making any sense at all?”

“Not really,” said Hiccup.

“Alright, look,” said Merlin. “I’m a Dragon Lord. Like you.”

At that, Hiccup became slightly defensive. “Oh yeah?” he said. “I don’t see your dragon around anywhere.”

“I do too have a dragon!” Merlin snapped. “He’s about a hundred times bigger than yours as well. _And_ he talks.”

“Are you drunk or just a crazy person?” said Hiccup. “I’m going to leave now. Please don’t follow me.” Merlin grabbed him by the arm, and tried once more.

“When you look at me, do you _feel_ anything?” he said.

Hiccup punched him.

*

As it turned out, Merlin came out of the whole incident remarkably well, because punching an ambassador from a more powerful kingdom was not looked upon kindly by the other Vikings (though Merlin suspected Stoick was secretly quite pleased).

He waited a day or so, then tried to start up another conversation with Hiccup, catching him on his way to the blacksmith’s house.

“Look,” he said. “I think we might have got off on the wrong foot earlier.” Hiccup gave him a long, hard stare. Merlin winced. “Alright, really awful choice of words. I shall rephrase: I don’t think I made a very good first impression. I’ve been told many times that I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people while I’m drunk, it never ends well.”

“Can this really not wait?” said Hiccup.

“No, it’s kind of important, actually,” said Merlin.

“How important?” said Hiccup.

Merlin considered this. “Exceedingly so. Look. Do you know what a Dragon Lord is?”

“It’s not something you made up while you were drunk?” said Hiccup.

“What? No! It’s an ancient and noble… thing,” said Merlin. “See, you’ve got dragons,” he gestured at the nearest dragon, perched on a rooftop. “And then you’ve got Dragon _Lords_. They’re humans who are sort of… like dragons. It’s kind of hard to explain.” He took a breath. “Did any of what I just said make sense to you?”

“Kinda,” said Hiccup. “I got the ‘dragons exist’ part.”

“Right, well that’s a start,” said Merlin. “Well, I’m a Dragon Lord.”

“That’s nice for you,” said Hiccup. “Why are you telling me this, exactly?”

“Because I’m pretty sure you’re a Dragon Lord too,” said Merlin. “It’s a hereditary thing, so I guess your mother was a Dragon Lord…ette?”

“Dragon Lady?” suggested Hiccup.

“Yes! That!” said Merlin.

“My mother didn’t like dragons,” said Hiccup. “Mostly she killed them.”

“Well, our powers can also be used for evil,” said Merlin. Hiccup laughed at that. “Look, do you really not feel it? We’re the same.”

“I’m not feeling anything,” said Hiccup, but there was a brief flash of doubt in his gaze.

“You’re lying,” said Merlin. “Watch. I’ll show you.” He turned towards the dragon on the rooftop, held up a hand, and ordered it down to the ground. It came obediently, settled down and begged like a dog. Merlin grinned. “See?” he said, turning back to Hiccup.

He was gone already, the door of the blacksmith slamming shut in the distance.

*

 

After that, Merlin decided to cut out the middleman, and went straight to Stoick about the whole thing. He, thankfully, was delighted at the whole thing – possibly he still thought Merlin was a crazy person, but still, Dragon Lord had a _lord_ in it.

Unfortunately, Merlin was increasingly struggling to have a proper conversation with Hiccup in the vincity, what with his dragon-sense not so much tingling as _blaring_ , but he got by. He really couldn’t afford to mess this up. Berk was proving to be a more valuable ally than he’d expected, what with the whole ‘army of dragon riders’ thing.

“There’s no such thing as a dragon lord!” Hiccup insisted. “Dad, c’mon! Why are you listening to this guy?”

Stoick looked at Merlin, then at Camelot’s insignia on his guard, then at the Terrible Terror he’d trained to follow him around everywhere, then said, “I really don’t see what the problem is, Hiccup, it sounds like a good thing to me. Why are you so upset?”

“Because it’s _weird_!” Hiccup snapped. Merlin opened his mouth to say that Hiccup was probably just shaken by the whole dragon-sense thing, then thought better of it, because that probably wouldn’t go down well with Stoick, seriously.

“It doesn’t really change anything, you know,” he said. “It’s just putting a name to what was there already.”

“Well, it’s a dumb name,” said Hiccup.

“It’s not a dumb name!” Merlin snapped. “Remember the ancient and noble part?”  
Stoick laughed again. “Boys, boys,” he said. “I think you two just need to spend some more time together. Get to know each other better.” He urged them to stand closer together. Uncomfortably close, in fact.

“No, we’re good,” said Hiccup.

“Don’t be silly, Hiccup,” said Stoick. “There’s obviously a lot to learn about this whole Dragon Lord thing, eh? Besides, you should introduce Merlin to Toothless.”

“I already did that,” said Hiccup.

“Properly,” said Stoick, shoving them even closer together, then giving them a push towards the door. “Go on. Have fun!”

*

Toothless was only the second dragon Merlin had met, but he was certainly friendlier than he looked. He was a bit like a giant, scaley, fire-breathing cat. Merlin was quite enjoying petting him.

“Who’s a handsome dragon?” he said. “You’re the handsomest dragon, aren’t you?

Behind him, Hiccup was glaring. “Will you stop with the baby talk?” he said.

“He likes it,” said Merlin. “You’re just jealous cause he likes me better than you.”

At that, Hiccup marched over and tugged his hands away altogether. “I am not jealous!” Toothless growled at the lack of petting.

“Don’t worry. I have my own dragon, remember?” said Merlin.

“Yeah, your giant talking dragon,” Hiccup scoffed.

“You don’t believe me?” said Merlin. “Fine.” He turned towards the sea, held up a hand, and chanted, summoning the Great Dragon.

“You know,” said Hiccup once he was finished. “That would have been much more impressive if anything had actually happened.”

“Well, he’s in Camelot, it’s a long way away,” said Merlin. “It’ll probably take him a while to get here, that’s all. But when he arrives, prepare to have your mind _blown_ , my friend!”

“Sure,” said Hiccup, sitting down on the grass. “I’ll wait. For the dragon.”

“I’ll wait with you,” said Merlin. “Because he’s coming.” He sat down too.  
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, until Toothless thrust his head in between them to see what they were staring at so intently.

“So what’s your dragon called anyway?” said Hiccup after a while.

“Kilgharrah,” said Merlin.

“That’s a stupid name,” said Hiccup.

“Well, I didn’t name him,” said Merlin. “And he’s kind of obnoxious. Just to warn you.”

They were quiet again.

“So, um,” Merlin said, “I take it you notice the whole dragon-sense thing.”  
“…Is that its actual name?”

“I don’t know, I made it up,” said Merlin. “I’m figuring things out for myself. There wasn’t really anyone around to explain things.”

“What, you didn’t have a teacher or anything?” said Hiccup.

“Well,” said Merlin. “Up until this week, as far as I knew, I was the very last Dragon Lord. And it only gets passed down when your father dies. And he, um, didn’t really have much time for a crash-course in all things Dragon Lord.”

Hiccup reached over and took his hand. Merlin stared. Toothless looked from one to the other, then slunk away.

“Um,” he said eventually. “Why are you holding my hand?”

“I… don’t know,” said Hiccup. They sprang apart. “That was disturbing! Not that you’re – no offense and all, but –” He was starting to flail a little. “It’s not just me, right?”

“I don’t know, but probably not,” said Merlin.

“It’s just,” said Hiccup. “I have this, uh, theory.”

“Go on,” said Merlin.

“It’s just – what you said. About us being the last two Dragon Lords, and the ancient and noble tradition and all – what if some Dragon lord higher power _thing_ wants us to, y’know, mate?”

Merlin stared. “That’s horrifying,” he said. “And it doesn’t really make sense. And we’re both men!” He groaned. “And you’re probably right.” After all, Hiccup was strangely attractive, despite being far too young for Merlin, but he hadn’t seen anything strange about that. Apparently Hiccup had.

“I don’t even like men!” he said. “I have a girlfriend!”

“Yeah, I met her, she’s scary and has a large axe,” said Merlin. “And I have… Arthur. But he got married and then sent me to Berk so we’re not really on boyfriend-terms right now.”

“What’s wrong with Berk?” said Hiccup.

“I haven’t had dry feet since I left Camelot!” Merlin wailed.

“You need more socks,” said Hiccup.

*

Thankfully, it was only another hour or so before the Great Dragon arrived, took a long look at Hiccup, then said,

“Well, this is certainly unforeseen. What are you doing _here_ , young Viking?”

“That’s what I said!” said Merlin, then, to Hiccup, “See? Told you he was bigger than Toothless!”

“I’ve seen bigger,” said Hiccup.

“Oh, for the love of –”

The dragon interrupted him. “I believe we’ve already talked about abusing your position, Young Warlock. I was in the middle of something.”

“Actually, I did kind of want to talk about the whole other Dragon Lord thing,” said Merlin.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” said Hiccup.

“And why did you tell me you were the last dragon when you clearly aren’t?”

“Last dragon _in Albion_ ,” said the dragon. “Besides, this is _clearly_ an inferior breed.” Toothless snarled.

“Hey, you watch it!” said Hiccup.

“They don’t even talk, though!” said Merlin. “But he’s definitely another Dragon Lord.”

“So it would seem,” said the great dragon. “He would appear to have escaped notice.”

“I’m very stealthy,” said Hiccup. “Uh. We don’t have to mate or something do we?”

“Well, that would be preferable,” said the dragon. “To ensure further dragon lords.”

“But we’re both men,” said Merlin.

“Details, details,” said the dragon.

Merlin looked at Hiccup. Hiccup looked at Merlin. “Yeah, not going to happen,” said Hiccup. “Bad dragon! Go home!”

“Yeah, you can go back to whatever you were doing, we’re done here,” said Merlin. “And no-one is mating. Except possibly Hiccup and his girlfriend. If they’re not already.” Hiccup punched him on the arm. “Ow! Stop that.”

Once Kilgharrah had flown off into the sunset, muttering boomingly under his breath, they were at a bit of a loss for what to do next. If nothing else, the ice had been thoroughly broken.

“So, uh,” said Hiccup. “Want a ride on Toothless?”

“Sounds like fun to me,” said Merlin. Possibly being in close proximity wasn’t that good an idea right now, but what the hell. Dragons!

*

A few pleasant dragon-filled days and a long, wet month of travelling later, he was back in Camelot at last. Having successfully re-allied Camelot with a kingdom that had an army of dragons had gone down very well with the court. Arthur, on the other hand, had probably had enough of hearing about it.

“They have dragons that can _set themselves on fire_ and then kill you!” said Merlin. “Only they don’t. Because they’re tame. And look!” He fetched the Terrible Terror out of its fire-proofed basket and held it up. “Isn’t he cute?”

Arthur leapt up and away. “Merlin, that thing’s _hideous_!”

The terrible terror hissed and spat flames all over Arthur’s desk. Merlin put them out with a wave of his hand. “Oh, poor thing!” he cooed. “Did the bad prince scare you? Hmm? Did he scare you?”

“Did _I_ scare _him_?” Arthur snapped. “It’s a dragon!”

“It’s only a little dragon,” said Merlin. “And this is as big as it’s going to get. Promise.”

“Alright, I should never have sent you to that place,” said Arthur.

“Did I miss much while I was away?” said Merlin, still cuddling his new pet.  
“Oh, not really,” said Arthur. “Well. Probably. It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” said Merlin. He held out the terror. “Want to hold him? I named him Arthur! After you. So he’s Arthur the Second.”

Arthur stood up straight and put on his most princely face. “Merlin, for the love of god, put that thing outside so I can ravish you.”

“Oh. Alright,” said Merlin.

Fin.


End file.
